When Augustine pondered love, he saw it not as a single force but as a carefully structured hierarchy that acknowledges human finitude. At its apex stands God, who must be loved above all else as the ultimate source of goodness. Below this comes the love for family and intimate relationships—particularly one's own children, who are not more inherently valuable than other children, but are specifically entrusted to our care. As Augustine recognized, we are not God. We cannot extend the same intensive care to every person, nor should we try. A parent who attempts to care for every child as their own would not only exhaust themselves but would likely neglect their primary duty to their own family.
God Above All
For Augustine, the primacy of loving God wasn't merely a religious dictum but the cornerstone of human fulfillment. "He is to be loved for His own sake, and all other things are to be loved for His sake," he writes in De Doctrina Christiana. This foundational love shapes how we approach everything else in creation. When God is properly loved first, we gain the wisdom to understand our limitations and the proper scope of our earthly duties.
The Sacred Circle: Family and Immediate Duties
The second tier focuses on our immediate relationships. In other words, the specific people and responsibilities Providence has placed in our care. Your own child is your dearest responsibility, not because they possess more inherent worth than other children, but because God has specifically entrusted them to you. Your neighbor's child is equally beloved by God, endowed with the same dignity and immortal soul, but they are primarily their parents' responsibility. This isn't a limitation of love but a recognition of proper boundaries and specific duties.
The Reality of Limited Human Capacity
Augustine directly addresses the practical limitations of human love in De Doctrina Christiana (1.28): "Since, however, you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special regard to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. For though you are bound to wish well to all men, yet you are not bound to do good to all." This passage illuminates the entire framework of ordo amoris—we must distinguish between universal goodwill and the practical constraints on our active care.
Does Ordo Amoris contradict The Parable of the Good Samaritan?
Augustine's hierarchy might seem to conflict with Christ's parable of the Good Samaritan, which teaches that every human is our neighbor. I do not think there's a real contradiction. We are indeed commanded to love our neighbor as ourselves, with "neighbor" encompassing all humanity. This universal command establishes a baseline of charity. We must help those in need when we have the capacity to do so, and failing this would be a sin against charity. The Samaritan's example shows that proximity (who we encounter) creates obligation, even across social boundaries. Yet this aligns perfectly with Augustine's point that we pay special regard to those brought into closer connection with us by circumstance. The Samaritan helped because he was there and able to help, not because he had a special ongoing duty to care for all travelers. This illustrates Augustine's framework: universal goodwill combined with particular duties based on our circumstances and capacity. The parable does not demand we actively seek out every person in need, but rather that we help those we encounter when we have the ability to do so.
Neighbors, Community and the Material World
Building on this understanding, Augustine's vision extends to neighbors and the broader community. We have real obligations beyond our immediate family, but these obligations take different forms based on proximity and circumstance. A neighbor in crisis deserves our help, but not at the complete expense of our family's well-being. While we should wish good for all humanity, we must devote our energy to helping those directly before us.
At the bottom of the hierarchy lies love for the material world and created things. Augustine insists these should be appreciated but never elevated above their station. This practical ordering prevents the chaos that would ensue if we treated all possessions as common property or tried to care for every aspect of creation with equal intensity. We start with what's entrusted to us, managing our own resources and environment responsibly while supporting broader stewardship efforts as we are able.
The Wisdom of Limits
The genius of Augustine's framework lies in its recognition of human limitations. We are not infinite beings. We cannot love everyone equally in practice. A mother who attempts to care for every child as her own would likely end up caring for none properly. A person who tries to solve every problem in their community might neglect their own household. The ordo amoris isn't about restricting love but about channeling it effectively.
This ordered love shapes daily decisions. When your child and a neighbor's child both need attention, you generally prioritize your own, not from lack of care for the neighbor's child, but from recognition of proper roles. When community needs arise, you help as you can while maintaining your primary duties. This isn't selfishness but stewardship. It's a recognition that we best serve the whole when we fulfill our particular responsibilities well.
Common Misunderstandings
Many misinterpret ordo amoris as promoting indifference to those outside our immediate circle. This misses Augustine's point entirely. The hierarchy isn't about who deserves love. All humans deserve love as bearers of God's image. Rather, it's about the practical expression of love within human limitations. You can genuinely care about all children while recognizing your special responsibility to your own. You can authentically love humanity while focusing your active care on those Providence has placed in your path.
Social media and global news confront us with endless needs and causes. Sometimes it feels bad to have to ignore so many unfortunate fates. The ordo amoris tells us that we can't effectively respond to every need, nor should we feel guilty about this limitation. Instead, we should focus on our given responsibilities while remaining open to broader calls when we can genuinely help.
header image source: Philippe de Champaigne, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons