Kagi translator turns normal human thoughts into LinkedIn slop
The AI-powered translator by Kagi is turning the most mundane sentences into the kind of insufferable corporate speak your LinkedIn feed is full of, and it works scarily well.
You know that guy on your LinkedIn feed. The one who announces he's "excited to embark on a new chapter of his professional journey." The one who turns eating lunch into a lesson about "fueling high-performance output." The guy who ends every post with fifteen hashtags.
Well, now there's a tool that can turn you into that guy. Kagi, the privacy-focused search engine, has added "LinkedIn Speak" as an output language on its free Kagi Translate service, converting ordinary text into satirical corporate prose. The result is exactly as unhinged as it sounds, and it's gone properly viral.
What even is this thing?
Kagi Translate is a free translation service that's been quietly doing its thing for a while now, claiming higher accuracy than DeepL and Google Translate with support for 248+ languages. But nobody really cared about that. What people care about is that you can now type literally anything into it, select "LinkedIn Speak" as the output language, and watch in horror as your perfectly normal sentence gets transformed into the kind of post that makes you want to delete your account.
The feature converts plain English into exaggerated corporate jargon, transforming "I have not done anything all day" into "Today was a much-needed day of deep reflection and strategic recalibration. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do for your long-term growth is to step back, embrace the stillness, and focus on mental well-being to ensure you're showing up as your best self for the challenges ahead. #Mindfulness #StrategicRest #WorkLifeBalance."
It gets worse. Or better. Depending on how much you hate yourself.
The internet immediately turned it into a game
The feature drove a Hacker News submission to over 1,000 points and hundreds of comments as users discovered the tool and started going wild with it. The competition to find the most cursed possible translation became its own sport.
Someone fed it the Gettysburg Address. The result was: "87 years ago, our founders launched a disruptive startup on this continent, a new nation built on the core values of liberty and the mission-driven proposition that all men are created equal." Complete with leadership hashtags, naturally.
Even threatening language isn't safe. One user reported that typing "I hope you die early" came back as: "Wishing you a swift transition to your next chapter."
It also went viral on X and other plattforms, of course.
How does it actually work?
LinkedIn Speak isn't a true translation engine. It's an LLM wrapper with a system prompt that treats "LinkedIn Speak" as a style transformation. Technically minded users discovered the URL accepts any arbitrary language descriptor, revealing that Kagi simply told an AI model to "write like LinkedIn."
The fact that this works so well is kind of the whole joke. The simplicity makes the satire sharper, and the fact that corporate speak has become so formulaic and predictable that an AI can nail it perfectly with a single style prompt says everything about how broken the culture around it really is.
Beyond LinkedIn Speak, Kagi Translate also offers Reddit Speak and Pirate Speak as novelty style options, with users experimenting with everything from "Shakespearean English" to "angry pirate" by typing custom styles directly.
Privacy, no tracking, totally free
Translations are processed without tracking, without storing data, and without analyzing content. Access is free, with non-members completing a captcha and Kagi members getting direct access along with premium features.
You can try it yourself at translate.kagi.com by setting the output language to "LinkedIn Speak" and typing whatever comes to mind. We'd suggest starting small. Maybe just your morning routine. By the end, you'll be "leveraging circadian optimization protocols to maximize stakeholder-ready cognitive performance."